Online Stock Trading

I often find myself reinventing new reasons for exiting the stage so to speak and entering the audience. Often, here, might even be an understatement. Reasons, here, might be anything from curiosity to exercise to empathy to even self-insight. Or hell, it might even be them all. What might start off as a curious indulgence might lead to a mental exercise that produces a kind of empathy that teaches one something about the self.

You’ve seen them all before—either from films or from books or from your own mind’s eye. You see the stock traders, slightly overweight, overconfident, boasting of the “system” they have that annihilates traditional gains who express all sorts of frustrations because of all the stupid people out there who for some reason don’t believe them. Or there’s the Tums-popping, red-faced, high blood pressure types whose very own animations precisely mirror whatever erratic behavior the markets’ charts are exhibiting. Then too there are the geeks whose keyboard slapping fingertips resonate like helicopter-blade chopping, whose bloodshot monitor-staring eyes, no matter their strain, cannot seem to impact the market in their owner’s favor. And of course let’s never forget the stuffy old-guy types, the ones with the furry eyebrows, and facial expressions and mannerisms that scream “I’m an Aristocrat” whose pompous scoffs at the notions of others that disagree with theirs only serve to reinforce their stuffy old-guyness.

It’s really actually amazing what the stock market can do to people. Because what else could cause the boastful “system” trader to exhibit his traits more effectively? To say one has an innovative system derived from strange, previously hidden brilliance which has now come to light in some ingenious method for baking better bread might not get you more than some strange stares, but to do the same in the world of assets? Now suddenly he’s somebody. Mr. Previously Unknown now has a name. Now he better be respected. Poor grades in school, accumulation of debt, and that winning “up-yours” attitude never got him the respect he always knew he deserved but now you better watch out. Now he has a system. And he isn’t sharing.

And would Mr. Calcium Carbonate be such a fuss were he serving ice-cream cones at the local Ritter’s? Could you imagine? Nervously twitching fist raising, incessant swearing, sweating, swinging broadly between the gods-must-be-on-his-side to somebody-quick-give-me-a-revolver and then back to the sunny skies again—oh, the poor children. That would be silly, but plant that very man on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange and now our bulging-veined friend has real things to worry about; like the payment on that Dodge Viper he scooped up on a whim the last time the Bulls reigned the Street. Prudence and blood-pressure must be after all, inversely related.

And what the hell kind of respect can the Cyberspace-savvy, truly virtual-cosmopolitan eyeglass pusher earn in the world of Second Life or Everquest? Remember, those rules there are the real ones. The ones here are the unfair ones. Having that thin slice of charisma, good real-world sense of self esteem, and knowledge that when it’s time to get a job, it’s just time to get a job, were all just barely too much for the Magika point counting, “look I’m at level 15 you newbie” touting, hack-your-PC-as-a-warning kind a guy. This is the age of the Internet. At home in his parents’ house, suits and ties need not fly here because “broker” is when he bought Apple stock because he just frickin loved that iPod. If he could totally take down that level seven bad guy even with only half his teammates, then surely trading stocks can bend to the will of the Dominator.

And last, what of “Mr. J. P. Morgan is my idol”? We know that that much wool in a suit coat reeks of 70’s or earlier and because modernizing must necessarily be bad, it’s a good thing there’s still a pay phone around here to call in a trade. “You mean these ‘kids’ can do this at home?” Any speculative trading is obviously foolish because one knows that the fundamentals are only what counts, especially if you want your portfolio to be full of banks. Microsoft is a fad. Always ignore everything but the balance sheet. The balance sheet you hear? Good.

But there’s more…